A couple of months ago, I was reading on a site about the importance of teaching our daughters homemaking skills. I am certainly proof of the need for that. There was then a question for readers asking what they were doing to encourage their daughter’s homemaking skills.
I couldn’t help but answer in this way:
We are working on homemaking skills for our daughter and our sons. I thank God almost every day for the skills my husband in the homemaking department. I love that when I’m having a crazy time of life, he thinks nothing of making dinner, doing laundry, or even sewing a curtain. I want my daughters-in-law to have husbands like that too.
Are you doing anything special to encourage homemaking skills in your children? Do you focus some tasks on only certain genders or all tasks for everyone?
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
I think boys and girls need to learn homemaking skills and other skills around the house. I never used a lawnmower, hardly ever used a hammer or screwdriver, could barely put gas in the car, until I was an adult. So I think it would have been good if I learned traditionally male tasks when I was young. On the other hand, my DH can grocery shop, cook, clean, and do the laundry and mending.
@scrapper al,
I have only used the lawn mower once or twice when I was in middle school. From time to time, I have thought about mowing the lawn for Eric, but I can’t because I just don’t know how. So, I totally agree with what you’re saying!
I agree that it’s important that BOTH girls and boys know how to cook, clean, fix, etc. Our son is only 19 months old but he already helps with cleaning, cooking, and helping his dad fix things. He LOVES cooking with his daddy! And he LOVES Helping me sweep and mop the floor!
I don’t know if I’m teaching “homemaking” skills to my boys, but they are at least getting “home-keeping” skills. In other words, they are- or will be – learning basic cooking, for one. My oldest son is already able to clean anything almost as well as I can (in fact, he is the one that is best at cleaning the kitchen just like mom likes it).
However, I doubt that my boys will ever have that flair for making things homey that my daughter does. You probably won’t find them arranging flowers into a vase, or rearranging the furniture (well, not in an artistic way, anyway!).
Reading this does make me realize that I need to start with my oldest son and teach him how to at least sew on buttons and mend tears (which is about all I can do myself, unfortunately). I think I’ll get my daughter to teach him, she’s much better than I am!
)
Three cheers for husbands who can cook and sew!!!
Sue´s last [type] ..Just What I Needed!
I think that if we neglect teaching all those practical homemaking & yard/automotive care skills to ALL our children we do them a disservice. What if something happens to their spouse? What if it takes them a couple years to find just the right person?
In addition, I know a number of men who enjoy cooking. They make some delicious food, and it brings them pleasure to do so. I even know of a few men who like to crochet & knit. What if nobody had taught them, because “that’s girl stuff?” The same could be said of girls doing things that are traditionally “manly” pastimes.
Ritsumei´s last [type] ..Weekly Wrap-up- The Very Busy One
I don’t have any personal experience with boys. My oldest daughter has recently shown an interest in sewing with me, so we’ll start doing more of that. And both girls have always loved cooking with me. But my oldest is also very interested when my husband goes out to build things in the shop. I have a hard time with the safety issues surrounding her in Dad’s shop unsupervised while he’s busy working on something, but she really enjoys those Lowe’s kid clinics when he takes her to them.
Michelle´s last [type] ..WIP Week in Pictures- 10-1-10
I just have a daughter, but I agree with you. My husband loves to cook and is good at keeping the house in order also. Sure, he doesn’t do it the way I would, but at least he knows how to straighten the house.
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I think it is part of my job as a mommy to make sure that everyone will be self-sufficient adults, which blurs the lines of gender. While I am a traditionalist and impart those values to my children, the fact is that my boys could end up with wives who are less domesticated. Or my girls could end up needing some more mechanical skills in their repertoire.
My 16-year-old son can clean about as well as I can. He can plan and execute a balanced meal for 8. My 12-year-0ld daughter can do nearly as much. Most of my children can do some sewing, crocheting, and needle work, as well as gardening, yard work, and they all love to assist with the mechanical. There are still “holes” in their homemaking skills, but the basic groundwork of how to do most of the necessary things is laid. I agree with Sue who said my boys may not have “the touch” that makes things pretty, but that is not a necessary skill, and I have been surprised on occasion at how well the boys can manage with holiday decorations!!
Lily´s last [type] ..Making Your Home a Haven
I often think of the post on your blog about being prepared for adulthood and what we should be teaching our children to prepare them to “fend for themselves”. My oldest has been doing his own laundry for years now, and I insist that the teens (boy and girl) prepare a meal for our family at least once a week. It only took one steamy shower and dripping walls to show them how to mop the walls to fix that issue, and this is something they have learned to do without having to be asked. My oldest also has trash duty, mows the lawn and more.
I love having all the kids in the kitchen with me for sure, and it is a proven fact that if your children are handy in the kitchen before they are 10 years old, they will be healthier eaters through their adult lives.
Kristin Cherwinski´s last [type] ..7 Quick Takes- October 1- 2010 Vol 6
Very good post! My son has showed interest in sewing as I’ve been teaching my daughter. I had already planned on doing a cooking course with him for high school but now I think I will be adding a sewing course as well. Perhaps not a full year course as I’m doing with my daughter, but enough to learn basic sewing skills. As you, Angie, I am DAILY thankful for all of the household skills that my husband learned from his mother and home economics in school.
Samantha
Samantha´s last [type] ..Tag – Im It!
I think boys should definitely be taught basic cooking, cleaning, and mending. And child care. My grandpa learned to sew, mend, and iron in the Navy because he had to care for his own clothes. Girls should also be taught basic home and car maintenance. If they’re on their own, they should be able to take care of themselves and keep themselves and their living spaces neat and healthy. And marriage is a partnership and it’s all about helping each other and picking up the slack.
But beyond the basics, I see us training them and encouraging their deeper interests along more traditional gender roles. I don’t see myself and DH spending as much effort to teach our sons to create a table centerpiece or crochet a baby blanket as we do teaching them to build a hay shed or change the header gasket on a truck. This does not mean we would not teach them something they asked about or change direction if they showed a particular aptitude at something. But we do value the role of traditional gender roles in marriage and the family unit, and focus our home training on preparing our children to carry them out.
Jamie´s last [type] ..The Chicken and the Egg
Angie, I love this answer. My mom taught my brother and I homemaking skills – and honestly, he now irons WAY better (and more often) than I do! My mother-in-law did everything for my husband, but thankfully, he’s picked up many skills since we got married.
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