Modest Clothing: It’s Not Just to Save Our Daughters

Modest clothing is a topic that comes up often on the “mommy blogs.” And, rightfully so. People should be concerned. Personally, I think society should be concerned when I have to be careful about the clothes I am buying my three year old, because there are lots of options that just aren’t very modest…at all.

Seriously — three years old. What does our society gain from sexualizing three year olds? What does it say about us, as a society as a whole? Because, really, the garment industry is one of supply and demand. Even if we aren’t buying these provocative outfits for preschoolers, somebody is. They aren’t making these clothes to lose money on them, they are making these clothes because people are buying them.

The “funny” thing about all of this is that often, only our daughters are mentioned when we discuss this modesty issue. I just read this article, which I thought was very excellent. And, Mary Ellen did mention very briefly the one thing that often comes to my mind when modest clothing and actions comes up — our sons.

It is my belief that we need to encourage modest clothing for the girls of our society not only to save and protect them, but also to save and protect the boys of our society. Just as we can lament what it does to the girls of society when a four year old wears short shorts that have “SEXY” printed across the backside, but we need to lament — what is this doing to the young boys of our society?

What about the six year old boy just beginning to really be able to read who “learns” that a four year old girl’s bottom is “SEXY” because her short shorts say so? What does this constant barrage of images and situations just like this do to that same boy as he grows up? What about when he is 10? 16? 21? Even if we try to teach them differently with our words and actions, what if what he sees out in society is just too much?

Now, I’m not suggesting that girls need to be covered from head to toe, or dress like pioneers. But, there is a big difference between dressing like that and dressing in short shorts and tight tank tops. Somewhere in there, there has to be a middle ground. (And that middle ground is not a bare midriff, I’m sure.)

I learned an interesting thing that I just didn’t realize about men (most men, I hate to make the generalization of all men) when I read the book For Women Only: What You Need To Know About The Inner Lives of Men — even when men don’t want to look at all of these things that society is throwing at them, there are often times when they just can’t help it. I like how the author of that book made a point. She said, “Don’t read this sentence,” or something like that. Did you read it? You couldn’t help it, could you? It was just there. It was there in your face before you knew that you weren’t supposed to read it. Just like some Victoria’s Secret commercial that pops up while your husband may be watching a TV show that starts flashing barely dressed women before he could even turn his head to not look.

What happens to our sons in a society like that?

Even in a holy place like church. What happens there as soon as the nice weather rolls around? Our sons and husbands are going to a sacred place only to still not be safe from the pressures of society.

Each summer, our priest reminds parishoners in the bulletin that our church *is* air conditioned, and so even though it is warm outside, they will still be comfortable in the church if they dress appropriately for Mass. I am always glad when he reminds people of this, but it also makes me sad that he needs to remind people that halter tops are just not appropriate for Mass.

I still vividly remember one Mass last summer when Eric just looked disgusted, and was shaking his head. I looked over to see a very lovely young lady — I would guess around 16 or 17 years old. She was dressed in high heels, a very short skirt, and a top that was a bit more revealing than was appropriate. (Her mother, by the way, was dressed at about the same modesty level as her daughter, sadly.) I realized later that Eric was probably not only disgusted that she was not dressed appropriately, but was also disgusted that, as a man, there is no where to escape these images — not even at church. How sad.

And, so I have to say again…we need to save our daughters’ modesty and self-image. We need to teach them that their bodies are theirs, not something to show off to the world. And, in doing this, I pray that we can save our sons too.

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