You know, you read in magazines or see on TV all of these ways that women swoon when their man has done some hugely unpredictable and exciting thing. Eric sometimes thinks he is trying to do some little unpredictable things, but I am usually expecting them. This always seems to make him feel a little bad.
Last week, I called him at work to say that he should just run home with lunch for us from Lone Star. Of course, since that is one direction into town and we are the other, even as a grand gesture, he really couldn’t have done it. Deep down, after our conversation (when he indicated that sounded good), I thought, “I bet he will bring it home for dinner.” He, however, didn’t seem to think that I might have had that thought. He came in feeling very sneaky with a bag from Lone Star for us, and a bag of McDonalds for the kids. I admitted that I was expecting it, and he felt not so sneaky. Maybe I could have pretended to have been shocked, but I was so beyond not shocked that any attempt would have looked foolish, I suspect. And, again, as in times past, he lamented that he is so predictable, apparently.
But, for me, I need somebody who is predictable. I find comfort in his predictability. I am a person who likes to know what to expect — I will admit that I don’t deal well with change. Sure, I like a little surprise here and there, but overall, I like predictable. To me — that is one of the beautiful aspects of Eric’s personality — I know what to expect most of the time. For me, the sweeping gestures that surprise me are times when I get home from doing therapy in the evening and Eric is standing in the doorway of the bathroom watching the kids play in the bath. I usually excitedly say, “Oh wow — you’re giving the kids a bath? Thanks!” Forget surprising me with diamonds. Bathed children and a kitchen sink with no dishes sitting in it — THAT is romance.
So, I guess the moral of the story is, just because the media tries to tell men that they need big sweeping surprising gestures, I don’t suspect that all women need that. I know I can’t be the only one. For some women, there is comfort in predictability, and those sweeping gestures are ones that are much more easily accomplished by going the extra mile around the house instead of dropping money in a store.
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